1. realize they don’t care about you anymore. realize they don’t really care if you hold onto them or not. realize you’re not really all that important to them.
2. get sad.
3. get angry.
4. become lonely. miss them dearly. remember how it felt to laugh with them. remember how it felt to make them smile. remember how you thought they’d always be in your life. remember how you felt they were all you needed. miss them dearly.
5. watch a new tv show from start to finish. try to find ways to make eggs more interesting. put too much cayenne pepper in your eggs. take a walk. find new people, laugh new laughs, discover new music. keep doing this for as long as it takes. shed off the skin you wore when you were with them. become something new, something they wouldn’t entirely recognize.
6. miss them dearly, during quiet summer nights where the air is too humid and you’re feeling particularly nostalgic.
7. get angry, for brief periods, wondering why they let you go so easily.
8. get angry, for brief periods, wondering why you let them go so easily.
9. live as normally as you can, for a long period of time.
10. run into them on the street, send them a random message, recieve a random message from them. talk for a bit, realize you don’t know them anymore. dig down desperately for the love you used to have for them. find nothing but pleasant apathy.
11. realize you don’t care about them anymore. realize you don’t really care if they had held onto you or not. realize they’re not really all that important to you. realize you’ve grown too far apart. realize you love who they were, what they gave to you before. realize that person who you love isn’t the person standing in front of you. realize you let them go, somewhere in all the in between, without even noticing. say goodbye to them, move on.
(12. wonder, sometimes, even still, if things could’ve been different, if you could’ve held on, if you still can, if it would make any difference. think these things, and then forget them.)